Malayalees are a peculiar bunch of people. The Malayali characteristics are formed based on certain assumptions they
have about themselves. Generally Malayalis consider themselves as the most intelligent human form found in India. Initially I tried to blame this wrong assumption on the hundred percentage literacy rate Kerala enjoyed for the last two decades. Many a times I had to tolerate them boasting that the rest of the Indians look at them with envy for their mental capabilities and always try to keep them down for the fear of being outshined by Malayalis. In reality, Malayalis are the narrowest minded people in the whole world and the least enterprising.
Malayali in traditional dress Mundu ( from wikipedia)
As Malayalis don’t allow any business to flourish on their land, they are forced to look for work elsewhere. They end up working mostly as labourers around the world especially in the Middle East. But in their home land, with their Ujala white shirt and White Mundu , if not in Government service will be willing to undertake only supervisory work. With years of Foreign Service and fat bank account that they saved by cutting corners, the Malayali finally returns home only to build big houses with their savings. Being least enterprising Malayalis never invest their own money in business. For that reason the only business Malayali does is that of a middleman. If you happen to talk to (unfortunate enough to) a Malayali business man, he will explain to you how he made large sum of money by being a middle man in a property deal. Every now and then during the conversation he will remind you that, he did not invest even a penny of his money. That is another one of Malayali characteristics. Malayalis always love to declare to the world that they are very clever people. The rest of the Malayali businessmen are teashop owners. Everyone needs food to survive, so risk is much less.
If you are a Non-Malayali female reading this article, before you proceed, please thank God for not being born in Kerala. Like many other places in the world, Kerala is a male chauvinistic society. But the tragedy doesn’t end there .Malayali men usually stare down every female form that come across.
Here is a quote from some of the more famous Malayalees.
Writer and Activist Arundhathi Roy
"Malayalees are sex-starved or perverts", says Paul Zacharia, noted writer and social activist.
"The journalists don't look at my face but at my breasts", the reason given by Arundhathi Roy for refusing to attend a press conference in Kerala.
I really don’t see any necessity to add more.
The other well-known Malayali characteristic is their ability to pull legs and back stab. One shining light is that they love to pull the legs of their own folks first. A Malayali worker will always ensure that, another of his Malayali colleague will not be promoted to a higher position before him. But he won’t mind much, if someone else from another country or state is promoted.
Verghese Kurien , the Amul Products fame , once said that if he were in Kerala , he would have achieved nothing .
Malayalis love to travel though the tried and tested path. So it is difficult for any new comer to make their mark in any popular art form, whether it is movies or art. Movie careers last a life time. Once Malayalis like someone, they will never let them down for a life time, for any reason. Only if the oldies die, the newcomers have a vacancy. It is also worth noting that, when the whole of India changed their buying preferences to newer more advanced model of Cars, Keralites were still the largest purchaser of Ambassador Cars.
Malayali in traditional dress ( Photo courtesy: Wikipedia )
Here is a joke I found about Malayalees on the net and would like to share.
You are staying outside India, and your friends know you are a Malayalee when..
1, You have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your kitchen for use as medicine or in your dinner.
2,You owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
3, Lipton Tea is bought by the bulk, (especially when there is a sale for it.)
4, Your brothers and sisters names rhymes or have the some letter to start with as yours.(ex:- siji , biji ligi , tiji ….)
5, You explain to everyone, "That funny name is my house name(family name)/Caste name."
6, You hide the fact that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
7, Your North Indian friends mention a Hindi movie, you say that Malayalam version was the original one and that it was better.
8, "Patti", "Thendi" and "Potten" are commonly used expressions of insult. and u r non-mallu friends says it more often than you.
9, You create a name for yahoo, hotmail, IRC or AOL chat rooms it's always some name like "Thenga", "manga" ,"Pichati", or names of film characters or TV serial characters.
10, Whenever a foreigner talks about India, u tell him that u should go to kerala, which is gods own country. And u will give him all the statistical data. Like 100% literacy, greenery, backwaters etc. etc. …and sometimes a word of caution that north India is not good as Kerala
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